Tales of the AAA/Sean
''Sean'' "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama!" Obama stepped onto the podium, amidst the cheers and the boos of the crowd. Once they were settled down, he began to speak. "You are probably all aware of that tiny blue body that was found in Chicago last month.", Obama said. "I am here to alleviate your fears. It was just a blue dwarf, nothing more." "Hey, what the hell are you doing in here?!", one of Obama's men shouted offscreen. They opened fire on the person in front of them, but suddenly a blue sticky substance formed a chain and swiftly decapitated them all. They tied themselves around the President, sending him onto the ground with an "Oof!" A relatively short fat man walked onto the stage, quickly followed by a larger-than-average man. "Trebol, are you sure about this?", Donquixote Doflamingo asked. "Don't worry, Doffy.", Trebol said. "I've got this under control." The crowd, which was panicking, attempted to run out the doors, but they were covered in Trebol's mucus. "Everyone, settle down!", Trebol shouted. "I'm not letting you leave until I'm done here!" "They won't listen.", Doflamingo said. "I'll deal with them." Strings came out of Doflamingo's hands, tying up the various members of the crowd and placing them back in their chairs. "NOW you may speak.", Doflamingo said. Trebol laughed. "Excellent, Doffy.", he said. "I'm sorry for skipping the formalities, everyone. My name is Trebol. His name is Donquixote Doflamingo. You are looking at the future ruler of the country of Dressrosa!" After someone in the audience asked, "Where?", Doflamingo swiftly and quietly decapitated them with his strings. "Go on, Trebol.", Doflamingo said. "No, I'm done.", Trebol said. "That was it?", Doflamingo asked. "'Sright.", Trebol said. "We can go home now, Doffy." Trebol used his powers to take out the camera as Doflamingo took out the cameramen with his strings. "Trebol, what do we do about the President and the audience members?", Doflamingo asked. "Kill them.", Trebol said. "They're witnesses." "Very well then.", Doflamingo said, turning towards Obama (who was screaming, but it was muffled because of the snot chains around his mouth) and smiled. With Doflamingo's strings, the 44th President of the United States was nothing more than ramen. SEAN "Uhhh...", Jacob Fox said. "...we are unaware of what that was -- or what this 'Dressrosa' is -- but one thing's for certain: the United States is at war. And right now, a word from our sponsor." Suddenly, Jacob Fox in the newsroom changed to a stereotypical haunted house with a full moon backdrop. Lightning flashed. A ghost was visible in one of the windows. Suddenly, three Deadpool heads popped up. They began to rock back and forth, while singing. It's nine days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. It's nine days to Halloween. Suddenly, they stopped. "You weren't expecting me in THIS one...", the middle head asked, "...were you, reader?" #### "Damn it!", Sean shouted, clenching his fist. "I can't let that happen!" "And just HOW are you going to do this?", Sean's girlfriend Asagi Aiba asked. "I'm going to kill Trebol and Doflamingo myself!", Sean shouted. "Are you sure you can?", a voice asked behind them. They turned. It was Braden, wearing a black and gold suit for Halloween. "With the World Government interfering?", Braden continued. "People are still a bit shaken up after that incident with Brandon in Chicago and that YouTube star that Pilaf nearly killed." "NEARLY?", Brandon asked on the TV screen. "Did you even see him getting shot through that wall?" "Did you?", Braden asked. "No.", Sean said. "All he was doing was sending me Snapchat pictures of him in dresses." "Your responses weren't much better.", Brandon said on the TV. "Sending me pictures of you flipping me off? With captions saying 'Stop sending me this shit'? How rude! Don't you care about our relationship?" "Who cares about your relationship?", Braden asked. "Right now Trebol and Doflamingo could be off killing God-knows-who-else!" "Do you at least have any idea where they are?", Sean asked. "They're probably still in Washington, D.C.", Braden said. "They couldn't've gotten far this early after the State of the Union." "So, they're still in Washington?", Sean asked. "Damn. It'll take me several hours to get there. But, nevertheless..." Sean stood up, then began to charge his ki, and flew off, creating a giant hole in the roof. "Does he even KNOW -- or CARE, for that matter -- how long it took me to build this thing?", Braden asked. Asagi sighed. "I'll board it up.", she said. #### Sean woke up flying in a downward motion. He flew through a billboard, through the empty former Manglobe building, then landed in the cement in the middle of a busy street. A motorcycle with two girls on it suddenly stopped. Sean got up, looked at the two girls (the one in the back swooning back at him), then flew off. "Where the hell could Trebol BE?", Sean asked. Suddenly, Sean spotted Trebol carrying three hostages with a Snot Chain. Trebol just happened to look up, muttered, "Oh shit!" loud enough for Sean to hear, then began to run. "Get back here!", Sean shouted, taking a sharp dip and flying straight for Trebol. Trebol just barely managed to duck before Sean landed, turned around, and noticed the three hostages were bound and gagged. "Who are they?", Sean asked. "What's it to you?", Trebol asked. "They're the newest members of the Donquixote Pirates!" "And where's Donquixote?", Sean asked. "Doffy's back in Annapolis.", Trebol said. "Too bad you won't live long enough to see him again!" Trebol readied a blast of the blue mucus, then launched it in Sean's face. "Oh God, this is so gross!", Sean shouted. Two more blasts of mucus to Sean's feet were enough to keep him stuck to the sidewalk. "I'm comin' Doffy!", Trebol shouted, using a Snot Chain to hitch a ride on the back of an oil truck. The driver looked out the rearview mirrors to see Trebol on top of the truck. "Hey Mitch, you wouldn't believe this.", the driver, named Clem, said. "It's weird! There's a European on the top of the truck!" "Huh...", Mitch said, "...that IS weird. Wanna know what ELSE is weird?" As Mitch laughed, Clem said, "Aw, dammit Mitch, put that away!" "I need to get out of D.C. and rendezvous with Doffy as soon as I can!", Trebol said. "The mucus will eventually dry up, and there's only so much chloroform on those rags... damn it." #### Sean was standing there. The mucus had dried long ago, but it was too hard to simply break. Suddenly, Sean noticed his face getting warmer, and the mucus melted. He saw a repulsor ray. Braden moved his hand away from Sean's face, which is when he saw it was blue from a lack of oxygen. "Good, you're still alive.", Braden said. "You should know more than anyone -- except maybe Brandon -- that I'm no ordinary person.", Sean said. "Come on, free me. Trebol's headed for Annapolis. He's got three hostages bound and gagged." "Done.", Braden said. Sean looked down in confusion to see a bunch of melted mucus all over his feet. "Follow me!", Sean shouted, flying away. "Wait!", Braden shouted, flying after him. "How do you know where Trebol is?!" "Do you?", Sean asked, stopping. "I've been tracking him down.", Braden said, stopping alongside Sean. "He's headed east along Route 29." "Then we don't need to waste any more time!", Sean asked, flying away. #### Jacob Fox and his female assistant were driving in a news van. "Sir, we're driving towards a car crash.", the assistant said. "How can you be so excited?" "Because!", Fox said. "It's a good opportunity for you to learn!" Suddenly, they heard something hit the top of the van with a loud thud!. "What the hell was that?", Fox asked. Suddenly, a Snot Chain wrapped around him and threw him into the other lane of traffic. A semi hit and killed Jacob Fox. As the van began to tip over, Trebol hitched a ride onto the truck that killed Jacob Fox. "Let's see Sean catch up to me NOW.", he said to himself, laughing. "Although, now that I think about it, I'm actually heading TOWARDS him..." Trebol looked at the crash. Several cars were piled up. Suddenly, an oil truck didn't slow down in time to avoid another oil truck. The two trucks exploded, which spread into the eight cars already in the pile-up, one that joined just a second later, and the AAA News Network van, killing Jacob Fox's female assistant. Trebol laughed before seeing a white ray come towards his face. It knocked him off his feet, sending him into the explosion. Sean caught the three hostages and placed them gently on the oil truck. "Hopefully he's dead now.", Sean said. "Not likely.", Braden said. "We just sent him onto the road. He probably has some light burns, but nothing more." "AND YOU'D BE CORRECT!", Trebol's voice shouted as a Snot Chain came out of the explosion and wrapped around Buffalo's neck. "What the--?!", Braden and Sean both asked. Suddenly, Trebol -- whose robes were on fire in random places -- jumped onto the back of the oil truck. He jerked the Snot Chain towards him, cleanly decapitating Buffalo. "Didn't expect that, didja?", Trebol asked, holding Buffalo's head in his hand. "I don't think the audience was.", Brandon's voice said from afar. "Who the hell IS that?", Trebol asked. "Just ignore him.", Braden said. "Gladly.", Trebol said as he threw Buffalo's head onto the highway. "I applaud you for managing to figure out that my mucus is flammable. But guess what we're riding on?" "You wouldn't!", Braden shouted. "Not while two of your hostages are still alive!" "YOU UNDERESTIMATED ME, ADMINS!", Trebol shouted. It happened in what seemed to be a flash. Trebol formed a Snot Chain and grabbed the two remaining hostages before spitting out a ball of mucus that was on fire. Trebol quickly jumped off before using another Snot Chain to grab onto a car going the opposite way, past the framing pile-up. While Sean shielded his face from the imminent explosion, Braden quickly flew into the front of the semi and pulled the driver out before grabbing Sean and flying away. The oil truck exploded, but no one was killed. Braden landed on a patch of grass beside the road. "Quickly!", Braden said to the truck driver, motioning for him to run away. "You need to get out of here! It's not safe!" Suddenly, they heard a scream off in the distance before it suddenly stopped. Trebol had hitched a ride, then repeated what he did to Jacob Fox. "Shit!", Sean shouted. "I forgot all about Trebol! We need to stop him from getting to Annapolis!" As the truck driver ran away, Braden and Sean flew off. "You don't quit, do ya?", Trebol asked as he was throwing the rest of Buffalo's body onto the highway. "I won't quit until you're DEAD!", Sean shouted before flying towards Trebol faster. "Then I guess I'll see ya in ghost form!", Trebol shouted. Suddenly, a Snot Chain wrapped itself around Sean and Braden, then spun them around until both were dizzy, hardened, then was covered with another thick layer of mucus, which also hardened, before slamming the two down into the highway. A car just barely managed to stop in time. The two admins saw Trebol driving away, laughing. "Damn it!", Braden shouted. He continued to stare in Trebol's direction until he was nothing but an afterthought. #### Sean felt the mucus suddenly getting warm and sticky. "What's that?", Sean asked. "Oh, the heat?", Braden asked. "That's just me trying to melt the mucus with repulsor rays." "And WHY couldn't you try this sooner?", Sean asked. "I have been for... however long we've been stuck in here.", Braden said. "It's just now working." "Braden, I swear to God!", Sean shouted, angrily pointing at Braden. Both suddenly realized what had just happened, looking down in shock. Sean jumped out of the mucus, which cracked all over the road. "Aw, damn it.", Braden said. "I just had this thing washed from last year." "Today's the 23rd, Braden.", Sean said. "But that doesn't matter, I'M FREE!" Sean took off. "Wait!", Braden shouted before he, too, took off. "TREBOL!", Sean shouted. "NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, YOU'RE DEAD!" #### Sean and Braden flew past a sign welcoming them to Annapolis. "Okay...", Sean asked, "...where the hell do we find Trebol?" "Try looking in that one cake place from that one TV show.", Brandon's voice said from afar. "Brandon, that's in Baltimore.", Braden said. "And I've no clue. My scanners can't see through concrete, so we've narrowed down where to look for him a little bit." "A LITTLE BIT?!", Sean asked, suddenly stopping in midair. "This city's freakin' huge, we'll NEVER find him!" "You can't miss a guy that big.", Braden said. "Don't worry, we'll find him. Especially since he's down there..." "What?", Sean asked in confusion. Braden pointed to the ground. Lo and behold, Trebol was walking along the sidewalk before walking into a building. The two landed on the ground, noticing that the building had a strange symbol on the front, with the paint chipping away. Though the symbol was almost entirely gone, Braden and Sean could still kind of make it out. "Braden!", Sean said. "Analyze that symbol, see where it comes from and what it means!" Braden scanned the symbol. It didn't take long for the Internet in his suit to find it. "Donquixote Pirates?", Braden asked. "Don Quixote is TWO words, not one!" "We need to kill Trebol NOW!", Sean shouted. Sean impulsively crashed through the doors of the building, getting the attention of everyone inside. Sean fired a blast of ki into the chest of a fat female running at him, then flew in Trebol's direction. As several soldiers ran in Sean's direction, they were all stunned by tasers built into the gauntlets of Braden's suit. "Now, Sean!", Braden shouted. "Kill Trebol!" "Trebol!", Doflamingo shouted. "Put the two hostages in the back! Wipe their memories of their life before joining us! I'll deal with these two!" Sean fired several continuous energy bullets, which Doflamingo all deflected with his Devil Fruit powers. However, Doflamingo was too distracted by Sean to notice the taser coming straight for him. He fell on the ground, repulsing as if he were having a seizure. "Trebol, you're not getting away!", Sean shouted. He immediately flew in Trebol's direction. Trebol, however, formed a Snot Chain and wrapped it around Sean. Sean fell on the ground, struggling to move. "You won't stop the Donquixote Pirates!", Trebol shouted. "But Don Quixote is TWO words!", Brandon's voice said from afar. "Ah, shut up, disembodied voice!", Trebol shouted, pointing to the two hostages strapped to a strange machine. "For you are too late! The hostages are having their memories erased! When they wake up they will have no memories of their former lives!" "No!", Sean shouted. "Damn it!" "Need some help?", Brandon's voice asked from afar. "I would appreciate it!", Sean shouted. "Alrighty then.", Brandon's voice said from afar. Suddenly, a giant pencil appeared. It erased the Snot Chain around Sean. The eraser end disappeared, being replaced by the pencil end, which drew chains around Trebol, then drew a penis on Trebol's cheek. "What the hell's happening?!", Trebol asked. "It's Brandon!", Sean shouted. "He's breaking the fourth wall!" "Why the fourth wall, specifically?", Trebol asked. "Shut up, Trebol!", Sean shouted. "I'm about to kill you! Ka..." "No, no, no!", Trebol shouted. "...me..." "Let me live! Please!" "...ha..." "I'll leave you alone, promise!" "...me..." "HELP!" "...ha!" A huge blue blast of energy appeared in Sean's hands. Sean pointed it at Trebol, then let it loose. "NO!", Trebol shouted. The blast hit Trebol, slowly destroying him. Trebol fell into pieces, which slowly fell apart, until all that was left were ashes and Trebol's lingering scream, which eventually disappeared. The blast disappeared. A panting Sean fell on the ground, out of breath. Braden walked over. "Go ahead and go to sleep.", he said. "You deserve it." Braden grabbed Sean and put him on his shoulder, then flew out, making a giant hole in the ceiling. Braden sent the address to the local police, labeling it as a place of "suspicious gang activity", then flew for the Admin Tower. #### "Why are we at Long John Silver's again?", Sean asked. "Why are you bitching?", Brandon asked. "We haven't seen you here in an AAA story yet." "I know...", Sean said, "...but you should be careful how often you eat here. Haven't you seen Super Size Me?" "This is Long John Silver's.", Braden said. "Not McDonald's." "Are you really gonna complain about a free meal, Sean?", Brandon asked. "Or is this gonna be our version of the-- OH SHIT, QUICK, HIDE!", Sean shouted, quickly looking down at the table. "What, why-- OH SHIT, QUICK, HIDE!", Braden shouted. "Why?", Brandon asked. "What's so bad about those guys?" Superman and Batman from the How It Should Have Ended shorts were sitting on the other side of the Long John Silver's. Superman waved. Brandon waved back. "Brandon, don't!", Braden said. Braden grabbed Brandon's head and slammed it into the table several times. "Ow, dammit!", Brandon shouted. Braden slammed Brandon's head into the table one more time. "Do you know why I get this reference?", Batman asked. "Is it because you're Batman?", Superman asked. "Because I'm Bat--!" THE END It was Halloween. Braden was in his apartment. Suddenly, someone knocked on his door. "Makoto!", Braden shouted. "Tell them we're not giving out candy!" "Actually, he's here for you.", Makoto said. "He says his name's Gerardo!" "Gerardo?", Braden asked. "You don't mean--?!" Suddenly, a man dressed like Iron Fist walked in. "She does!", the man shouted. "Gerardo Otero, pussy destroyer, iron fistor, and son of a bitch; here, at your service!" Gerardo then pulled a Ginyu Force pose. Brandon walked in. "Are we doing another post-credits scene that only exists to set up future stories, like literally ALL of them before have?", he asked. A man wearing a large red ring walked in. "What the HELL are you talking about?", the man asked. "Oh shit, I didn't know you were here, Manuel!", Gerardo said. "...why?" "I'm just here to replace the admins' collective IQ points that you're taking away.", Manuel said. "Wait, what?", Braden asked. "Yeah, man!", Gerardo said. "We wanna be admins! Except for Manuel, he wants to be a huge queer -- oh wait, he already is." A red sword manifested from the red ring on Manuel's finger. The tip of the blade pointed itself at Gerardo's throat. "Try me.", Manuel said. "If it's okay with you that I'm interrupting...", Braden said, "...I'll have to decline. There aren't enough apartments for you to live here on your own. Unless you want to bunk with someone else, but I HIGHLY doubt they're willing to share." "Denying someone adminship because there aren't enough apartments?", Makoto asked. "That's awfully hypocritical of you, Braden." Brandon raised his hand. "I'm willing to share.", he said. He pointed towards the two bumbling idiots. "But I'm just warning you now...", Brandon said, "...the litterbox is for me and me alone." "Why the hell do you use a litterbox?", Gerardo asked. "Because meow, shut up." "ALL OF YOU, shut up!", Braden said. "Alright. Just so I don't get the butcher knife by Makoto tonight, let's have a compromise: You two will be made honorary admins. That way, if something happens to any of the current admins, one of you will be made admin." "How do you decide?", Gerardo asked. "A democratic vote.", Braden said. Brandon raised his hand again. "Gerardo.", he said. Manuel used the red sword to slice off Brandon's hand. However, it was still functioning, and it flipped Manuel off. "But where will we live?", Gerardo asked as Brandon was reattaching his hand. "There's a guest apartment underneath the Admin Tower.", Braden said. "You two can bunk there. But my Iron Man suits are down there. If I see one of you flying one of my suits, I WILL push the self-destruct button on it. Clear?" Gerardo and Manuel both nodded their heads yes, then walked out. Sean will return in The Admins. Don't click away! There's more below! It was nighttime. The Admin Tower stood out like a sore thumb in the inky blackness of the night. Suddenly, a hole opened up in the ground. An Iron Man suit, scarlet and silver in color, flew out of the hole before it closed. It started to spin around in circles. "Johnny Walker...", Gerardo began to sing. "...Second Harvest... Blue Label!" Inside of Braden's apartment, Makoto Kino (Braden's wife) was watching. "Is Braden flying drunk again?", she asked. Suddenly, the suit exploded. "Guess not..." Category:Tales of the AAA Category:Moderate Category:Rapids' Stuff